With all the stuff that has happened and felt over the past 3 and a bit years, it is easy to forget the little things.
Especially when I have been caught up in my emotions, and trying to give a little structure to something I can barely understand.
But I was just looking through my old Myspace account (anyone remember that drop in the ocean Myspace?) and looking through my myspace emails as I was looking for an address.
Myspace…….ha, back in the day!!
Posted in Love | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | Leave a Comment »
So, I had a lot of time to think about everything. I was being logical and thoughtful. I was calm. I had an awesome holiday. I was not sad. A little disappointed. I was not angry or in a heighten state, but I was a lot clearer about where my head was.
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told? Well, certainly MY greatest love story was over. I hated it and I knew it. It was time to end it.
It was over.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | Leave a Comment »
Well……….this thing is sure dragging itself out right?
My mind flits on a daily basis about how I have given up/am giving up faith on her, and then seeing how she has treated me over the past year and a half, well the whole 3 years in fact.
When Kelli is around and in my life, even just in contact, like on the phone, she gives me a lot more focus, drive and reason for doing even the most mundane tasks. Without her, I just feel a bit lost. Like why am I doing anything at all. I know I am doing it all for me, but beyond that……what are my goals?
In my heart, when I was in the states, and I was with her, it felt like…………..it felt perfect. Like I had found the glove for my hand, the shoe for my foot. Everything all made sense at that point. I knew I was to be with her.
Am I still kidding myself? I mean really?
*seriously, leave comments………….I am open to opinions, answers and objections.*
Posted in Love | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | Leave a Comment »
I am slightly behind with updating this. I write this now in October, but I am writing about events 6 or 7 months ago, and a lot has happened since then (or not depending on how you look at it). Anyway, back to the story.
I really find myself lost at the moment. I don’t know how much strength I have. This whole thing with Kelli has been a huge learning experience for me. I don’t know if I have it in me to carry on. I feel like I am walking out to sea against the waves.
But its not life that is the waves trying to knock me off my feet. It’s Kelli.
Since the last message in March, she made it clear that she did not want to “do this” any more, whatever “THIS” was. Despite telling me she had “decided” to be with me back in October, and that was her taking 6 weeks out to think about it all back then.
Despite not being there, every time she disappears, for whatever reason, its like slapping me in the face. I can understand a week, a few weeks, but nearly 2 months at a time. And its happened repeatedly since we first met on-line nearly 3 years ago. So for 3 years, she has just kept slapped me in the face.
I’m out of answers. Out of suggestions. Out of options.
And now it appears, out of her life. Again.
Posted in Love | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | 4 Comments »
Many years ago, I was reading an article on a man that had designed eco friendly homes that were covered in earth, and were not to dissimilar to that of the hobbit homes that were featured in the lord of the ring movies.
I think I was reading about it in a magazine whilst in a waiting room or something. A completely awesome idea, and this was way before Grand Designs was on the TV. I think the plan was to build a small town using this eco-dome style technology. They were designed by Roger Dean. And he did a lot of crazy art work back in the 70’s. And you know how crazy the 70’s were.
That’s when I was born.
Posted in Environment, Green Life | Tagged Brighton Earthship, Hobbit Homes, home for life, Roger Dean, willowater | 1 Comment »
So yeah, this is me. In the flesh. I have been studying my birth chart for a while now, and just astrology in general. Click on the image of the chart below and it will open it up full size, then just ht the back button on your browser to come back to this article
Posted in astrology | Tagged astrology, birthchart, Grand Trine in Fire, mars square saturn, sun square moon, sun square pluto, venus in gemini | 1 Comment »
Click on the image to see the full size charts
This is a separate blog, but I guess it relates to ‘The Greatest Love Story Ever Told’ blog that I am running about the long distance relationship that I have with Kelli, a girl that I met on the internet.
As a little extra for those reading this, this is the synastry between mine and Kelli’s birthcharts. I thought I would post them, so I can open them up for interpretation for people to look at, but also for anyone to write anything that they feel will help me (and maybe US) to understand what is happening between Kelli and I.
Lots of good aspects in there. My venus, her mars. Her venus, my sun. My mercury, her sun. My saturn, her jupiter. Her DC between my venus and mars. Her Mars, my MC. And that is just conjunctions. Not to mention my moon in her 5th house, my venus in her 7th.
But plenty of hard aspects as well.
I guess you will have to let me know.
If anyone has anything to say about the charts (good or bad), please feel free to post a comment or write to me. I have studied astrology for a few years, but I am no expert.
I am also querying whether I feel like she is the one for me, because my sun is conjunct her vertex? Would that explain why I feel like this?
Click on the image to view the charts fullsize
I have also attached our composite chart which is the one on the left. This is both of our charts merged together.
If anyone is an expert, then please feel free to point out the good and bad points as I am still learning about astrology. Is it bad that our composite charts Venus and Neptune give the illusion of it being something it is not?
I have our first meeting charts as well, but I may post them in a separate blog.
Posted in Love, astrology | Tagged birthchart, Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, synastry, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | 1 Comment »
Hello Readers.
I have not posted in a while. I have had a lot on.
There was a trip to America. That had good and bad points.
There was unemployment, signing on 
, employment and then ANOTHER offer of employment.
There was the beginnings of all things entrepreneurial.
If anyone is following this, I am sorry.
I also forgot to re-attach my blog domain mapping to this account. Unbeknown to me, I had actually achieved page ranking in Google for my blog on Kelli and I, under certain keywords. And then I lost all my ratings, and all existence of the blog. So I have had to learn the hard way about a few of these feats.
Posted in General | Tagged ratings in google | 1 Comment »
Part 13…..is it unlucky? Is it lucky? Is anyone superstitious any more?
Sometimes this is quite hard for me. There are days when I question the decisions and rational of this ‘relationship’. Am I ever content? Will I ever be? Sometimes it is easy to get lost and fall back on things, old thoughts and ideals, rather than stick with an untested method. Would we have these problems if we were together. As much as I love how she makes me feel, I still run the logical by myself every now and again. As this is an ongoing story, I am still unsure of its direction and outcome. The confidence that I had in writing this blog nearly a year ago, is not so strong and has been battered by the elements on a daily basis.
I could be writing this story for a complete crock of shit, and it could all just end up a failed romance. Half a story. A book without an ending.
That would suck.
Posted in Life, Love | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | 4 Comments »
Well it all got off to a flying start, but was more like a continuation of what had already been happening since October 2008. With Kelli now having almost daily access at work to a computer, I could at least leave her messages and she would get them in a day or 2. There was no more passing on of messages, no more not knowing where she was. It seems a bit more coherent. It had generally been good since her return in October. Both of our Christmases had been somewhat eventful with families.
Posted in Love | Tagged Kelli Lee, Kelli Rae Lee, long distance relationship, powhaten, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told | 1 Comment »
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